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Forgotten Long Ago

by Bears in the City

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1.
a southern raised girl with a bandana mask riding on a train on her way to Alaska said she'd seen herself in the white of the snow instead she ended up with nowhere to go with her eyes and her pack both filled to the brim held her nervous smile back, knew her chances were slim she couldn't beat the word with that old pack of matches she'd burn it all down to see how long it lasted she went to the desert looking for land standing on the line where the sun hits the sand called up here friends said their best days were wasted: "we couldn't make it pretty, we best just erase it" parents called her up and they left her a message, said "we've missed you more and more since the day you left us" pale white, like the milk carton girl "just give us back our daughter, she ran from the world"
2.
don't know where, I don't know when don't know how this all began don't know how this will end don't know why you seemed surprised when I bring tears to your eyes when I said I wanna lay down and die so I will smoke another cigarette, lock the door don't you know I'm fighting a war with myself and I don't know who will win drink some more and fight the war with myself and I don't know how to win don't know who I thought I'd find when i looked deep in my own eyes but I thought that mirror had to lie don't know where i was that night don't who I was trying to fight but I was looking for some kind of life but oh that glowing ember deep in my heart it wasn't there--no, it wasn't there from the very start and as a creeping chill reaches my aching bones I feel a longing for home
3.
October has come and my summer skin is shedding it's growing backbut I still don’t feel too steady October's come and my summer mind is slipping I'm thinking againbut the scale just keeps on tipping towards doubt some days some times its hard to find like the loneliest ray of the last sunshine night has come, the sun is low my heart beats fast, but your heart beats slow some days some times its hard to find like anything like some peace of mind like the last leaf hanging from the tree we might be alone, but at least we're free October has come and my summer limbs are weary I'm done running from you, but I'm still chased by your memory October's come and my summer sleep is gone I'm moving past but these dreams just won't move on October's come and my summer voice is missing I keep moving my lips, buthese words just sound like wishing Octobers come and mysummer eyes can't gaze trapped beneath the sea of fallen leaves I'm climbing through the sea I'm rising above the sea I'm gazing across the sea of the fallen leaves some days some times... we might be alone at least we're free
4.
take the good with the bad I'll take what I have over what I had as the fog clears away, can't relive the past only have today tears showing brightly in the moonlight I let go completely, so hold on on tight I push you away, then pull you in close feel it creeping from my fingers down into my toes airplane rise, airplane falls our worlds aparts so load me up, yeah numb my thoughts please just stop this beating heart clear away my broken mind build me up for a second time selfish thoughts please leave my head I'm crashing back to earth like I'm made of lead take the good with the bad I'll take what I have over what I had as the fog clears away, it clears away clears away take me away from this place who have I become, I longer know this face so take me away from place who have I become take the good with the bad... I'll take what I have over what I had
5.
last night I dreamt of the ocean bliue and of stars and of you through your heart, past your sleeve sand in our toes, we danced through the ocean breeze your life brought back songs I'd forgotten long ago you taught me melodies that I might never know your eyes saw through this worn out disguise so lay with me til the morning rise steals me away from you last night I dreamt of a mountain range I held your hand and it felt so strange we leapt from that cliff into the sky I'd forgotten how to fall but I learned how to fly
6.
I've been dreaming eveything in black and white your face caressed by the light I've been dreaming those people i used to know those places that we used to go and you ask me if I'm more beautiful in black and white? have we settled for this life alright? I've been dreamiing of a wild and distant thing of a world where no one shares the blame I've been deaming never been so far inside my head never been so far from my bed I wonder if you've been dreaming everything in black and white of my face caressed by the light if you've been dreaming of those words that I once spoke if different arms, they held you when you woke cause I've been dreaming those words that I once said I woke alone in this bed Have I settled for this life?
7.
Once Again 02:52
old wounds don't heal when they're opened again and again I can't be a new man, you've been complaining to your friends but we've tried to get distance, this seems to be magnetic well I miss you, I tell you, now you're back into my bed here we go once again, 'round again we're the "old friends", I see you--oh now the past is clear our problems--my misteeps--all seem to disappear your eye contact slowly reconnect, you're all I could see well I love you, I tell you, we are all you can be here we go once again, 'round again don't know why you stayed, don't know why I left but now I'm back again here we go once again

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released April 11, 2014

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Bears in the City Chapel Hill, North Carolina

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